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🚨Introducing the Revolutionary 'Viral Isolation™ Method' 🚨

Because Who Needs the Scientific Method When You Have Consensus™?

Are you a virologist looking to isolate a virus but don’t want to deal with pesky scientific principles? Do you long for a world where assumptions are facts, controls are optional, and results are whatever you need them to be? Well, look no further! With Viral Isolation™, you, too, can bypass every fundamental step of the scientific method and still get published!

🎉 Special Features – Now with ZERO Adherence to the Scientific Method! 🎉

🔬 Step 1: Skip Direct Observation!

Why waste time finding a virus in nature when you can just assume it exists? Don’t worry—no one in ‘virology’ has ever observed a virus as a distinct, independent entity directly from a sick person’s fluids. If they haven’t done it in over a century, why start now?

💡 Bonus: Instead of isolating a virus, just declare symptoms = virus. Got a cough? Must be a virus! Fever? Definitely a virus! Ate bad sushi? Yep - virus!!

📏 Step 2: The Hypothesis-Free Hypothesis™!

Real science requires an Independent Variable (IV) (the thing being tested), but who has time for that? Since we never actually isolate a virus, we’ll just assume it’s there. Science is hard—so let’s just skip the part where we identify our IV!

🧐 Scientific Method Violation:

✅ No purified virus? No problem! Just declare the existence of one and move on.

✅ Symptoms are vague? Who cares? A fever must mean viral infection!

✅ What about controls? HAHAHA, good one.

🧪 Step 3: Experimental Design... Or Lack Thereof!

Time to “prove” viral replication! But instead of isolating and testing a virus, let’s throw patient samples into a blender of monkey kidney cells, toxic antibiotics, fetal bovine serum, and a battery of chemicals! What could go wrong?

🧬 Pro-Tip: When the monkey kidney cells start dying from all the poison you added, just call it a Cytopathic Effect (CPE) and claim the virus did it! (Ignore the fact that control experiments show the same results without a virus—just pretend those don’t exist!)

📸 Step 4: The Electron Microscope Magic Show!

Now, let’s get some ‘proof.’ Instead of isolating and purifying a virus, just snap a picture of the cellular debris from our CPE Toxicity Soup™ and say, "See? That blob right there—totally a virus."

🔍 Fun Fact: If someone asks why you didn’t purify and separate the virus, just roll your eyes and mutter, “You don’t understand virology.” That’ll shut them up!

📊 Step 5: Data Manipulation & Narrative Control!

Science should be about unbiased analysis... but where’s the fun in that? With Viral Isolation™, you can:

✅ Assemble ‘viral genomes’ on a computer, even if no complete ‘genome’ was found! (Computers never make mistakes.)

✅ Use PCR to ‘detect’ tiny ‘genetic fragments,’ from a ‘virus’ never proven to exist.

✅ Ignore all contradictory evidence, and call anyone who questions your methods a science denier™!

🧠 Step 6: Declare Success No Matter What!

In real science, if an experiment fails, the hypothesis should be rejected. But with Viral Isolation™, failure is never an option!

🚫 Found no actual virus? Publish anyway!

🚫 Control experiments contradict your results? Ignore them!

🚫 No reproducibility? Silence the skeptics!

🌟 SPECIAL BONUS! – Support the Digital Biosecurity State! 🌟

By believing in this groundbreaking Non-Scientific Methodology™, YOU, too, can:

💰 Enable the Biosecurity State™ – The more viruses we ‘find,’ the more lockdowns, mandates, and surveillance we can justify!

📉 Help Crush Small Businesses! – Nothing says ‘progress’ like eliminating those pesky local shops and centralizing power!

🛑 Contribute to The Great Reset™! – Because why have freedom when you can have digital IDs, carbon quotas, and endless health passports?

🚀 ORDER NOW! 🚀

For a limited time, get your Viral Isolation™ Kit for the low price of your critical thinking skills!

(Side effects include cognitive dissonance, FOIA-induced panic attacks, and an uncontrollable urge to shout, “Trust the Science!” at anyone who asks for evidence.)

💥 Viral Isolation™ – Where Assumptions Become Facts!💥

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Clay Schmitz's avatar

Round and Round they go. Even if the indirect methods were legit, they're not, they would still need to demonstrate contagion in a real world environment. They would need to expose well people to these invisible particles via natural methods and observe the same symptoms they claim the particles cause.

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